Been a while...

I have recently started having dreams that I am heavy, weighing too much, which must be weighing on my mind or why would I dream about it. Usually, I am happy with myself. I still am to tell the truth, but I am on a bit of a downer as six weeks ago I injured my ankle during hockey training. Ruptured a ligament and tore three others. I was in a moon boot, then in strapping... still am in strapping though I get days off now. However, what this has all meant is that I am not really exercising and still eating too much of the sugary goodness. It started the day after I got injured when my sister, bless her, bought me chocolate. It all went down hill from there.
So, I have been brooding over putting weight on. It is hard enough to keep weight at a steady due to the pill and Karen, the most amazing baking lady who cares for us teachers. Because of this, I am terrified to get on the scales. When I was at my largest, just over 100kg, I thought I was still okay. I hadn't really seen pictures of myself from head to toe. I am afraid that this is like that. I am afraid that I actually have put all that weight back on or that I am in denial about putting all that weight back on.
It was my birthday two weeks ago. I had plans that for my new year (my birthday is my new year after all) to start getting healthy, going back to cooking my meals, portion control, fitness etc. None of it has happened. I have been sick. Injured. Start to recover then get sick again. Perhaps they are excuses but when a person can't breath properly it is hard to start doing fitness.
Oh, and what fitness can I do? Nothing that involves my ankle too much.
I have started though. I am trying to go for a walk every day. I can't go far, but I take the dog to the beach and walk the length and back on the hard sand. Today I tried walking from my house to the beach. It was okay. It is mostly down hill which my ankle likes better than uphill. This is a small positive. I have cooked twice this week... had chinese last night... whanau night always screws up my plans but a person cannot say no to wontons and fried rice!
I have marking for Africa and am so behind that I can't see the end. I am actually quite stressed and when that happens I eat. I never realised I was an emotional eater until my niece got sick, then I was like ooohhh, cake, chocolate, food, food, food, yes please.
Alright, so here is the new plan... now that I have eaten the last of the chocolate in the house.

• I am going to take it slow. Walk every day with the dog. 
• I am going to cook my meals and they will show portion control.
• I will attend a swimming class once a week from next week on a Wednesday.
• I am not going to buy any chocolate at the supermarket.
• Any chocolate I am given is going straight into storage. I will not open it. Open chocolate is the end for my self-control.
• I am going to make my lunch.

Doesn't seem so bad. I will add to it, as my ankle allows it. I also need to do free or cheap things due to my dog currently sucking my back account dry. He is a puppy. Enough said.